Sunday, March 29, 2009

Struggling

Each day we face little decisions -- what to wear, eat, go, knit, quilt. But every now and then we face big struggles -- when to give up on marriage, change jobs, send a fledgling child on their way. Giving up on a relative's health -- well that's something you never really want to contemplate. Unfortunately, I'm at that crossroad. My dad is 84 years old and by all accounts has lived at least 8 of his 9 lives, literally. The idea that he's coming to the end of his 9th life is hard to swallow.
He is currently suffering from dementia. Even though he's mostly coherent when I'm around, my Mom has decided it's time for him to move to a memory care facility. Today I stopped by for a Beef Stew dinner and to help my Mom print some pictures from her computer. Dad seemed a bit worn but had no trouble engaging in conversations, even asking how Maggie (my dog) was doing. He commented that the stew would be his last supper, aware that tomorrow they're going to the facility to sign the paperwork to admit him. My Mom quickly retorted that he'd be home for a few more days. The odd thing is I find her repeating herself far more than Dad. How could she not remember that she'd just told me the day before how she explained to him what would be happening? This has been going on for many months yet she fails to appreciate her waning abilities, all too quick to point when Dad falters. My Dad's last words tonight were 'Come visit me.' I'll be there as often as I can Dad.

1 comment:

kpultzdesign said...

hey--I feel for you. It's really tough to experience...my mom is right there too.

visit often...Kate