Monday, August 17, 2009

A Quick Blurb...

before I head off to bed.

I had an interesting day at work today. My CPU had been swapped out with another one while I was off on bereavement days and all of my desktop icons were a mess. Things I needed I didn't have and things I didn't need I had. Ugh. This is what happens when site support makes the move when YOU'RE not there!!!!!!!!!! Several applications I need every stinking day were not on my CPU any more and I had to wait for our Siemen's analyst to get around to my CPU ('really busy'). Meanwhile, I'm twiddling my thumbs because every single task required the missing software. Double Ugh. Of course we got it all figured out in time for me to go home for the day.

So, I'll be heading into the office by 6:30 tomorrow morning because I'm so behind now. I'm 'behinder' more than I expected to be. I had over 100 emails to go through this morning and now I've got to finish work that was due on the 15th. Yes, I DO know that tomorrow is the 18th, thank you.

So many people offered condolences today. I began the day with a nice hug from coworker Julie and a nice conversation about Dad. Tomorrow will be a week since he's died. Before I know it, it will be two weeks, then a month and then a year. No matter how long it's been, the memory of watching him pass will never fade.

I've been waking early each morning, mostly with thoughts of 'what if' or 'I should have' and then I find I cannot return to sleep. This isn't good when it's only 4 am. I suppose I should work on a Sudoku puzzle to put myself back to sleep but instead I only roll fitfully, thinking about how things could have gone better. I wish I had called my Mom and sisters when I first spoke to the nurse at the hospital -- I could have told them to get to the hospital when I was leaving for Crittenton. We could have all been there together as he died. I just didn't realize the dire situation when nurse Colleen asked me if I had someone who could drive me to the hospital. I didn't pick up on her hint. So much is deciphered in after-thoughts. I don't always get subtle hints -- you need to hit me over the head with a frying pan sometimes.

On a happy note (much too little of that lately), tomorrow we'll be celebrating a co-worker's 35th anniversary at MetLife. Quite the amazing feat. They asked us to document what we were doing in 1974.

What were you doing in 1974???????? I think I was about to start 8th grade and right about now I was probably heading off to band camp!

1 comment:

Lupie said...

When we have a loss part of healing is rethinking.
Just go thruogh it and you will come out the other side.
In 1974 at this time I was in my cutie new apartment with my new husband. Wedding was Aug. 3rd.
I was also getting ready to start my first teaching job fresh out of college.