Bad Spell

After a week of being sick I'm ready to turn the corner.  I gave up on my antibiotic after 4 days as I was so nauseous I could barely eat -- not like me at all.  I suffered through the final days of work at Ally hacking and sneezing, and yesterday was thankfully my last day.

But all this pales in comparison to the extraordinarily sad news that my daughter Holly has miscarried again.  At her four month check up the doctor could not detect the baby's heartbeat.  Holly and Mike are crushed and I am so worried for them.  This is the second miscarriage in eight months for them and now they are searching for answers.  

I hadn't thought a lot about it before now, but I'm afraid I may have something to do with this and it is weighing on me heavily.  When I was first pregnant with Holly my doctor prescribed a medication to ease my  unending morning sickness.  It was later taken off the market and now looks like it could be connected with her problems.  I realize in my head that I didn't do anything wrong but my heart is heavy with guilt nonetheless.

I'm not looking forward to having this conversation with Holly but she needs to let her doctor know about my taking this drug, even though I only took it for a very short while.  Maybe this knowledge will help her doctor treat her or at least answer some of their questions.