Outlaws

Do you ever wonder if you've done what you were meant to do?  I like my job but there are so many times I think I was meant to do something else.  Pisces people are natural helpers.  We want to make things better.  When I was thinking about college as a young woman I thought I wanted to be a music therapist.  Ever the optimist I thought I could make the world a better place by sharing my love of music in the form of therapy.

That went by the wayside quickly as I got married and had my son, AKA the roommate.  My self-fulfillment was stymied by my ex and I began to think believe I was worthless.  It's not easy to believe you are worthy in a situation like that.  Every time I see my ex I have the urge to grind my body into the ground.  I have to constantly remind myself how much better off I am without him and how far I've come on my own.  I dread every instance where we're together.  He never misses an opportunity to minimize me.

Bitter?  No, it's the way it is.  Last week on my granddaughter's birthday my ex made a big point of kissing and hugging my daughter's MIL and saying 'always a pleasure' but to me all he could muster was a less-than-genuine congratulations.  Woop-de-damn-do.  Truly, if I could get through the rest of my life without ever seeing a single outlaw I would be so happy.  So very happy.