Today is the fourth anniversary of my father's death. I did my crying last night and shed just a few tears today. I met my Mom for lunch at Billy Sim's Barbecue restaurant near the cemetery. We had a very enjoyable lunch, touched on Dad's death just a bit. Mom said she didn't want to go to the cemetery. I thought that was odd since we were just 2 miles away but whatever. Today she faulted the hospital for not calling her when he was dying and that if she'd known how bad he was she would have stayed with him at the hospital the night before. Who knows what they told her. My guess is she either didn't hear them and chose not to have them explain, didn't understand what they were telling her or she was just tired and wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. Maybe it was a combination of all three options.
I just know I am glad I was there with him when he breathed his last. He went so peacefully and his suffering was finally over. Miss you Dad.
Suzanne, it is a powerful and important thing to be with someone in those last moments. I am glad that you were there with him, too. It is good that you know it is okay to still cry and always miss him.
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